Content Warning: This article discusses suicide, suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety and mental health treatment. These topics may be difficult for some readers. Please take care while reading and consider stepping away if needed. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis or having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for free, confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
For many people, struggles with mental health are invisible. Someone can be showing up to work, caring for their family and smiling through conversations while carrying a heavy burden no one else can see.
For Amanda, that burden began early.
“I first remember feeling passively suicidal when I was 13,” she shared. “Things ebbed and flowed through my teens, my 20s, and into my early 30s.”
One of the biggest challenges wasn’t the anxiety or depression itself. It was admitting she was struggling.
“I didn’t grow up in the most open environment, and I spent a long time bottling up my feelings,” Amanda said.
A turning point came years later when she was pregnant with her second child. Anxiety about everything that could go wrong began affecting her daily life, especially after losing her mother in a motorcycle accident years earlier.
“I realized I couldn’t continue worrying about everything that could happen because it was starting to affect how I was with my child.”
That realization led Amanda to seek help. Over time, she was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), major depressive disorder (MDD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). She began therapy, explored different treatment options and worked with healthcare professionals to find the support she needed.
Still, the journey wasn’t easy.
“At the height of my anxiety and depression, I felt a lot of shame,” Amanda said. “Even while I was doing therapy and taking medication, I could feel things getting worse.”
Eventually, a counselor recognized how much she was struggling and encouraged her to seek immediate help. Amanda went directly from a counseling session to the emergency room, where she was admitted to a behavioral health unit.
What followed were some of the most difficult moments of her life, including multiple hospital stays. Looking back, she says finding the right care was critical.
“The right facility can make or break how your treatment goes,” she said. “Having structure, support and the ability to stay connected to my loved ones made a huge difference.”
Today, Amanda is passionate about encouraging others not to give up, especially when progress feels slow.
“It took more than 15 years for me to find the right combination of medications and therapies that worked for me,” she said. “Don’t give up.”
Along the way, journaling became one of her most valuable tools.
“It helps me release and understand what I’m feeling,” Amanda explained. “Looking back on my good and bad days reminds me how far I’ve come.”
She’s also learned that support doesn’t always mean having the perfect words.
“Support, for me, is mostly giving grace,” she said. “Knowing that my friends, family and coworkers weren’t going to be upset if I wasn’t my best all the time helped tremendously.”
Amanda believes open conversations are one of the most powerful ways to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health and suicide.
“Mental health is still such a taboo topic,” she said. “I’ve always tried to be vulnerable and open about my journey because if it gives a single person the courage to ask for help instead of hurting themselves, it’s worth it.”
She recalls one particularly meaningful experience when she finally opened up to someone about what she was going through.
“They had no idea I was struggling because I hid it so well,” Amanda said. “They were struggling, too, and we started checking in on each other. I appreciated that so much.”
For anyone wondering how they can support someone who may be struggling, Amanda offers a simple reminder: be present.
“If you tell someone you’re there for them, then actually be there for them,” she said.
And if you’re the one struggling?
“Don’t give up.”
You Are Not Alone
Suicide Prevention Awareness Month reminds us that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Checking in on a friend, coworker or loved one can make a meaningful difference, and seeking support can be the first step toward hope and healing.
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide or experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for free, confidential support 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
You can also find additional resources at bcbsks.com/mentalhealth.